"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Forgiving is good for your mental, emotional and physical health as it clears your heart and soul of hurt. But forgiving is not always an easy task. It is a process that takes time and patience to complete. It is common for angry and hurt people to think, "I wish I could forgive and forget, and I know I should, but I don't know how?" To help such people, here are some starting points:
1. Understand what forgiveness truly means Forgiveness does not mean you ignore another's actions. Neither does it connote that you have changed your stance to believe what they did was right and you are wrong. Forgiveness is just letting go of hatred, acknowledging our pain and burying the past. So by forgiving you will not be lowering your stance but you will be cleansing your system of hurt and proving that you are powerful. Like Mahatma Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
2. Realize that forgiveness is for you - not for anyone else Forgiving is good for your peace of mind. When you consistently blame others for things gone wrong in your life, you are also captivating the hurt in your heart forever. This hurt continues to cause pain until you forgive. So for the sake of your happiness, ready yourself to forgive.
3. Forgive to heal and mend your relationships Often our loved ones hurt us and regret later. By forgiving them, you can free yourself from the clutches of bitter feelings and liberate them from the pangs of shame and guilt. Removing hurt, guilt and shame, will heal your relationship and provide it with another chance to flourish.
4. Refocus on the positives in your life You cannot let one loss affect your entire life. Instead, concentrate on the positives of your life and gain back control. Remember that a life well lived is the best revenge. People who find love, kindness, a goal in life and courage to chase that goal are better able to forgive and get past their grievances.
5. Do not expect results for your act of forgiveness Getting the other person to change their beliefs, actions or conduct isn't the point of forgiveness. In fact, the other person may never change or apologize for their misdemeanor. Embrace forgiveness to change and spiritually heal your life. If the other person realizes his/her mistake too, consider that as bonus.
As humans, we seem to be hell bent on making nature yield to our command rather than allowing it to take its natural course and adapting to it ourselves. We live in nature, practically at its mercy, and yet we seem to believe we are superior to it. When man interferes with nature, it tends to strike back in the form of natural calamities, which we have witnessed a surge in off late. Why does this happen and how can we be more one with nature?
Realize that it is not the world that is complicated, it is us.
All that exists in Nature is pure, simple and full of light-hearted mirth.
Disturbances and calamities occur when man intervenes in Nature's song.
Nature's revolt against us is an indication of the turmoil that exists within us.
We must consciously aim at reducing the turmoil within ourselves.
Thus, the only way to be one with nature is to be one with your true self!
Hate is a negative emotion. It consumes the world and everyone who is a part of it. It is the evil that destroys the person from whom it emanates before reaching the person who it is meant for. Hate can never counter hate, it will only add to it. Hateful thoughts are harmful to the body and mind. They destroy our equilibrium and make us lose focus. After your death your words of love and kindness shall act like beacons to those you leave behind. Would you rather not leave behind lasting memories of happiness and love than those of hate and despair?
Love is a great healer. It can set past wrongs right and pave the path to unbridled happiness. Loving comes naturally to all humans, after all we are a product of compassion and kindness that emanates from the Guiding Light that breathed life into us. To be able to love without bounds, without expectations and want is to have truly loved. But remember loving is giving away a part of you unselfishly and unstintingly. And that is not always easy. Great love like great achievements is fraught with danger and risk. Unless you do not risk failure and dejection, you will never be able to experience the bliss of success and acceptance!
We go through life whipping up personal desires... for luxuries, fame, money and even love. These desires seem like a bottomless pit when seen by the wizened eye, so futile and useless. We claim to live in a society, but in reality are in fact feeding our own egos. Are we really a society? Do we gather together for greater common enlightenment? If we are to truly understand the meaning of this great wonder called life, we must stop unraveling it in bits and parts. Selfless love is the remedy. We can be happy only if we learn to love unconditionally, and loving unconditionally comes through spirituality which is the path of the wise man.