Tragedy or sorrow always strike without warning. Itís really easy to get blindsided, but how do you put the pieces back together when the storm is over? Hereís taking a look at the process of grieving and why itís so critical when it comes to dealing with loss.
Understand and accept: Whenever weíre subjected to any kind of deep or unexpected sorrow, grief is the most primordial and natural reaction; itís your mindís way of dealing with the crisis at hand. The first step is to understand this, accept it and be gentle on yourself. Most people try to fend it off and fight it because they see it as a sign of weakness.
Period of grievance: Grieving is the time you give to yourself to come to terms with the reality that surrounds you. The time the body and mind take to heal will waiver from person to person depending on a number of factors. Thatís why itís important to know that thereís no fixed grieving period and it certainly canít be the measure of how deeply a person is affected by a tragedy or how strong/stable his mental/emotional build is.
Tell your story: A lot of people dealing with a tragedy have often taken the help of vocalizing their feelings by telling their story - to friends, family or even those dealing with the same kind of pain. Over the years it has proven as a good measure to deal with the situation, and to judge where you stand today and how much progress you have made.
Steer clear of stress: The last thing you need when youíre recovering is anything that will suck the energy out of you. Most often, this comes in the form of visitors or relatives who drop by to convey their grievances. While their intentions might be good, take a call on whom you want to have a conversation with at the time. Feel free not to do anything that would require additional effort from your end.
People help: If you're not spending time alone, you're going to be spending time with people close to you. Ideally, let them be people you're most comfortable with; people who wonít constantly ask you about how you're doing or if you want anything but those that are OK with your silence and can comfort you with a reassuring hug every time you need it.
OVERCOME THE TRAUMA OF ABUSE
- by Girija Naiksatam
Whether its domestic abuse, abuse one has faced during childhood or religious abuse, it can leave deep scars. Read on for tips on how to overcome trauma and move on.
Talk about it: The first way to deal with a not so pleasant past is by talking about it with your close friends or family. By doing this youíll not only learn to confront the feelings that youíre hiding inside but itíll also help you to get an insight into your mindís meanderings.
Express yourself: Often people are not too keen on taking professional help. Hence they take the road of expressing themselves through various forms of art; writing, painting or even dance. People across the globe have admitted to art therapy helping them come to terms with the past and move into the present. So find out what works for you, and learn to use it to your advantage.
Understand your behaviour: If you have suffered some kind of trauma in the past, itís bound to resurface as a reaction in some way or the other. The most common manifestation comes in the form of obsessive, compulsive and unhealthy coping mechanisms such as binging on anything from food, drugs or sex or the other extreme, purging. The best way to avoid it is to keep a check on yourself or ask someone to do it for you.
Acceptance: Acceptance is always the first step to change and progress. So, no matter how unpleasant an experience, the only way for us to come to terms with it is by accepting it. It might be extremely difficult to see yourself as a victim, but the sooner you come to terms with reality, the faster will be the road to recovery.
Self Image ahoy: Victims of any kind often spend a bulk of their time feeling tarnished and trapped. While this might be an obvious consequence, they should instead focus this energy on building their self image by taking up a hobby, getting a job or doing something that will help them grow. If you are around someone like this, encourage them to get working on their personality.
Dealing with a traumatic past can be a real task, but it isnít impossible to get over it. With the right amount of effort, guidance and persistence, a bright future canít possibly be too far away.
IMPROVE YOUR LIFE THROUGH THE POWER OF CHANGE
You are probably one in three people who often utter the much popular phrase, "Oh! I hate change!ĒAlthough it might seem like change could turn your whole world upside down, the benefits of welcoming the same remain unmatched. Read on to find out how and why change is good for you...
1. Helps you explore and expand You will never know what lies beyond unless you embrace change, allow yourself to step outside your present environs and explore. Confining yourself to what you have right now is myopic and will lead to stagnation, so learn to look beyond the boundaries.
2. Allows you to grow Who you were yesterday is very different from who you are today and who you will be tomorrow. Change may shock you but it also forces you to accept and then adapt and hence learn from the entire experience, only bestowing you with more confidence for the future. For youngsters especially, adapting to change is the best and the fastest way to grow. It helps them take charge and gain confidence, thus transforming them into mature adults.
3. Throws up a million new opportunities Change gets you out of your comfort zone but also places you face to face with numerous new possibilities. And do remember that opportunity knocks just once. If you absolutely refuse to acknowledge its presence, you might be missing on a better tomorrow.
4. Provides a fresh perspective You may think that you live a perfect life and there couldnít be anything more. But once you experience something different and better through the process of change, you will be able to analyze and evaluate the present and the past and differentiate the good from the better.
5. Empowers you to break barriers If you peep into your past, there will be things that you are so glad you did, or things that you thought you would never have done. Incidentally, these will also be the same things that you were averse to, before you were coerced into doing them. Unless the experience scarred you for life, youíre good to go this time as well.
AGE GRACEFULLY: WELCOME THE AUTUMN OF YOUR LIFE!
To Age gracefully you do not have to DO anything. In fact, you have to do LESS. You have to learn how to relax, how not to struggle to be younger than what you are and stay in tune with the natural process of living. If you understand this basic rule and learn to evolve with time, the experience of aging can be beautiful for you. Here is some more insight to help you relish the process of experiencing the different hues of life as you grow older:
1. Accept your age: With an inner acceptance of our age, we also accept how we look. And that self-acceptance reflects on our face as self-confidence. Mark Twain must have been a happy old man, for he said, "Wrinkles are merely indications of where smiles have been."
2. Exercise to stay physically fit: Exercise is known to benefit any age group, even centenarians and it is never too late to start. Regularity in a chosen exercise program, a balanced diet of fruits and vegetables, and regular medical checkups are essentials you can't ignore. Moderation, regularity, rest and activity are the four check points for balance.
3. Laugh like the laughing Buddha: The inner space where you look out from is what shapes your outer life. Even if the body becomes older, the mind and the soul within can remain fresh and young. So clean your mind of negativities and erase those repetitive patterns of cribbing and complaining. Make humour and laughter your best pals to lighten up your life.
4. Dig deeper: Be it relationships, friendships, interests or hobbies; take a deeper stance in life. Don't get bogged down by minor conflicts, superficial problems or mindless competition. Realize that you are above all this now and enjoy the fruits of all your hard work.
5. Sit down to do nothing: Aging is caused by the body's response to stress. Being an automatic response, stress cannot be controlled. However, there is one mind-body technique that goes directly to the root of the stress response: Meditation. Meditation lowers biological age. From Vipassana to Dynamic, (sitting to dancing), there are many techniques you can experiment with.
HOW KINDNESS IS GOOD FOR YOU
In this fast-paced life, kindness is often forgotten. Kindness is the simplest emotion as humans that we can offer to a person, an animal or a plant. But did you know being kind is also good for you, not just the person you are being kind to?
Being kind to someone boosts your self-worth and makes you feel important. Positive acts like kindness generate a sense of well being, or the Ďthe feel good factorí, which in turn uplifts your spirits and keeps you optimistic.
Staying happy boosts your self esteem. Being happy in turn reduces stress levels in your body. This in turn helps you to stay healthy since being happy boosts your immune system.
Since stress is the root cause for several illnesses, sheer kindness can drive the stress and tensions away. Kindness is the cure for depression. Once depression is removed, other health problems like eating disorders, ulcers, acidity and sleeplessness all go away.
HOW TO SLEEP BETTER
You wake up grumpy and irritable, with a heavy head and no mood to learn or take up a new task. It's not a hangover, its how you feel when you don't get your regular dose of sleep. Sleep has deeper, long term health benefits. So think before you stay up late often.
Benefits Of Sleep
Your brain shuts down its tasks of all its emotions, decisions and interactions. So when you wake up in the morning, you are fresh to handle a new day.
It helps you to deal with stress in everyday life.
It gives you energy and boosts your immune system.
Lack Of Sleep
It makes you less attentive in class/work as it directly affects your nervous system.
It can lead to poor memory and poor performance.
It can make you moody and irritable.
Develop Health Habits
Quit smoking and alcohol, as nicotine can disturb a normal sleep cycle.
Exercise daily for better blood circulation in your body.
Try not taking a nap during the day as this may disturb your sleep cycle at night.
Get a health check up done; maybe you're low on iron, vitamins and minerals. Taking multi-vitamins may help, but do consult the doctor first.
Drink water at least two hours before bed time. This will prevent you from waking up frequently to visit to the bathroom at night.
Never take sleeping pills, especially without consulting your doctor. In fact, it's best to do without pills.
How To Sleep Better
Try and maintain a regular sleep routine. Make it a point to hit the sack by a particular time daily.
Ideally, you should get 7-8 hours of sound sleep. If you don't get enough sleep one night, compensate it the next night.
Eat a light diner; this will prevent you from feeling uneasy and aid digestion.
Don't sleep immediately when you lie down. Practice relaxation and calming exercises. You could also listen to soothing music or read a light book.
Drink a glass of warm milk or warm water with a teaspoon of honey before going to bed. This will induce sound sleep. If you have a lot of tension then write them down in a book and sleep. This will prevent your worries from creeping into your sleep.