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tips4me.com -…these are the seven husbands
…These Are The Seven Husbands
Wives Hate!
Dr. Harish shetty
PRACTICING PSYCHIATRIST
 


Dr. Shetty writes...

In my long experience of counselling, patients have articulated their likes and dislikes in the most innovative manner. With respect to women many have expressed their pain and dislike and a few are described as follows.

THE CHEQUE BOOK HUSBAND

When Amina took an overdose of pills in a Virar bound train little did she realize that the railway police can function effectively and promptly in escorting her to a nearby hospital in an unconscious state. Seventy-two hours later as she opened her eyes she began sharing gradually about her life. Lavishly praising her husband whom she fell in love with before marriage she said "He is a wonderful person, provides everything to me, he is a blank cheque book and cares for me, but does not understand me". He is a perfect gentleman but...

SOLUTION

Keep the cheque book (signed of course) with you and throw him into the sea.

When he shouts ‘Bachao bachao’--tell him ‘baad me, baad me’.

Wave the cheque book at him and sing this tune... ". Thande thande pani me doobna chhahiye...paisa chaahiye ya pyar chahiye". He will definitely come round.

Then throw a rope for him to climb and wait till he reaches the shore safely. Once he gets there, observe whether he hugs you or the cheque book.

If it is you, hug him back. If he lunges for the cheque book, just throw him back into the water!

THE SHOWCASE HUSBAND

A young Doctor who decided to separate from her husband tells me, " My husband is selfish, he does not understand the simple elements of love, he is not a bad man, is loyal and wants me to be well mannered and well dressed. He displays the right etiquette at the right place and is liked by my parents but he has no masthi...”.

He is a ‘showcase husband’

SOLUTION

Sell all his best clothes and use a sprinkle of four lettered words at a ‘respectable’ party. Burn his omelet, serve him a salt free diet, but put salt in his tea...till he yells. Tape-record his anger.Gift him a box of cockroaches on his birthday till he yells. Teach him to be wrong, incorrect and impolite and congratulate him for that. If he still remains stiff, play holi at diwali and force him to wear Hawaii chappals to office and offer him an incentive for wearing shorts to his office at least once.... IF HE STILL IS THE SAME, DUMP HIM.

TIME-TO-TIME HUSBAND

A schoolteacher under treatment for epilepsy broke down and blurted out, "Doctor my epilepsy is under control but do something about my husband. He is a time-to-time husband. He forces me to do things in a particular manner and at a particular time and gets annoyed when I don’t comply with his wishes. He is a perfectionist. Our courting days were about lessons in Gujarati and how to live life and his idea of passion is to clean the house! How often I SHOULD CLEAN THE HOUSE? Do not misunderstand me sir it is just hat his behavior upsets me. He is dutiful and correct but not warm and indulgent."

SOLUTION

Invite three-year-olds to your house for a party and let them play and have lots of fun. Use his comb on all of them and also his towels...wear his shirt and mess his table till he screams with anguish and says STOP! Respond to him with a kiss and a hug and say that he is the greatest husband. Adopt a pet dog and play with him everyday in his presence. LET THE MILK SPILL OVER ON THE GAS and refuse to wash his clothes. GIVE HIM AN UNIRONED SUIT FOR AN IMPORTANT MEETING AND JUST GRIN. Tell him that he is not a machine but is made of flesh and bones, and he should express himself and be spontaneous.

MR. NOT-DO-IT-AT-ALL

"My man does not remove his shoes from the shelf. He does not know the difference between a fridge and a washing machine. He is incompetent even at buying an airline ticket. He is incompetent by choice, he loves me but I do not like it. I am tired.”

SOLUTION

Keep his shoes in the fridge next to his water bottle and his watch, his wallet and his money in the washing machine. Iron his best shirt and keep it the fridge and keep his share certificates in the fridge again. Keep all his photographs including that of his parents in the shoe rack and his best goggles in the kitchen sink. By God, he will change!

SPIRITUAL FREAK

"My husband is a spiritual freak and wants me to pray all the time, watch religious serials, wear only saris and discuss god all the time", said Vanita an ex-marketing executive. “I like to wear tights, pencil heels and go out but he hates it. Is God a substitute for living?” asks Vanita

SOLUTION

When he is in a tamasic mood sing a bhajan loudly and ignore him completely. Invite the entire ‘mohalla’ to watch TV in your house and pretend to be celibate. Wear only a sari and teach your children only bhajans instead of mathematics. Refuse to teach any school subjects and pray while cooking, bathing, eating and loudly when he is asleep, if he still remains the same ask him to live in vanaprastha ashram with VEERAPAN and send your divorce papers through Nakeekaran Gopal.

CENTER POINT HUSBAND

One lady recently remarked "My husband is a center point figure. He takes my decisions, does it for the family both my in-laws and mine. He is also a decision-maker for the building and many families. He is a matchmaker for many couples and loving to me too but I get irritated. I AM ONE OF THE SATELLITES REVOLVING AROUND HIM BUT NOT HIS MOON.

SOLUTION

Book tickets for a boring film and take your kids along. Phone him at his workplace and ask him to join in the fun. Praise the movie continuously and keep your calm even when he is irritated. Call the newspaperwala and change the choice of newspaper. Instigate all the women around and take a morcha to his house complaining about the poor upkeep of the building. Cook the dishes, which he hates, and relish it in his presence. Agree with him only when it comes to cricket and Kargil and differ everywhere else. Praise Veerapan, if he hates him and claim to know Dr. Ranawat if he begins boasting about him

THE SHOWER KING

Jayashree an interior designer remarked, “My husband is strange. When I wanted to go to Mahableshwar he took me to Mauritius. My happiness comes in small packets and he showers me with gifts. My need to go to Mahableswar remains. He is extremely caring but...

SOLUTION

Eh Ladki, you are dumb. Let’s swap place. I will go to Mauritius with him and I will send you to Mahableswar with my wife!

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Other Articles By Dr. Harish Shetty 

Dancing Is Good For Health
If My Niece Chooses To Marry A Mentally Ill Person!
Smile More, Live Longer!
…Valentine’s Day Is About Connecting, Not Gifts
Why Do Our Kids Commit Crimes?

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