‘INSENSITIVE #@)^#@)%^@!!!’ is something you must have heard from your woman rather often. And of course this leave you wondering about what is she really looking for and what does she expect from me? Here’s what she is looking for:
1. Don’t say mean things about how she looks Passing mean/funny comments on appearance doesn’t go well with most women, particularly if they are already conscious about it. Tactfully convey her fashion goof ups and her weird dressing sense. Being blunt could hurt.
2. Don’t mock her when she cries in the movies Women are emotional creatures and their tear glands tend to work over time. Respect her for her gentle heart and generous behaviour.
3. Don’t correct or analyse her behaviour in presence of family or friends There is nothing wrong in correcting her pronunciation or letting her know that she isn’t being a great host. But doing so in public is not palatable. Talk it over in privacy. Don’t complain but discuss things out.
4. Care about what she wants in bed A physical relationship is incomplete and hollow if it’s only about your needs and your desires. Be sensitive to her needs also. Talking, hugging, are equally important to her. Respect her needs to turn on the heat.
5. Make those extra phone calls Calls, SMSes or small gestures mean a lot for women especially when they are unwell or going through stress, whether mental, emotional or physical. During such times, do remember to make that extra call to enquire about her well-being. This will make her realize that you care.
Women of today are no longer all about strawberries and chocolates but even this Gen X women brigade is usually more sensitive than men when it comes to sex. A man could be extremely matter of fact and practiced in bed but for a woman sex is usually a fulfilling experience - one that testifies her emotions. And after sex too, she desires to feel loved. So what is it that these Gen X women want after sex?
I want to cuddle and sleep Nikita, 28, a Marketing Manager with a pharmaceutical company says, “I like it when my man is sensitive in bed and is concerned about what I want. It makes me feel loved and makes sex a very sacred experience for me. After the act I still want to feel loved and I think that’s why my favourite after sex thing to do is drifting into peaceful sleep as we hug each other. It soothes my senses and makes me feel blissful.”
And most women would agree with Nikita. Just about every woman likes being cuddled after an orgasm. Though you may not be a fan of the ‘cuddle’ syndrome, you should understand the power of the touch after sex and what it could mean to your woman. An affectionate caress can set a lot of things right and constantly tells her that you care. So even though you may be very tired and sleepy, just flip her around, hug her and go to sleep. Make her feel wanted.
Let’s shower together Quite a few women prefer to clean up after the act and then refresh themselves up with a shower. If their guy joins them, it makes them feel even better. Have a quick wash and a lingering shower and let her feel your affectionate touch again. Apart from being a refreshing experience, it can also be one of the most sensual experiences. So if that’s what she wants next time, don’t cite laziness and sleep as an excuse but take the invitation, clean her up, get rejuvenated and for all you know, you will be the one who will want this the next time around.
I love talking Although cuddling may not figure amongst the favourite things of men post sex, there are even fewer men around who want to talk once the orgasm is reached. But if she wants to talk, you may as well keep your ears open and listen up. Some women get highly emotional post the act and they would rather let you know how they feel about you and yes, they might have told you some of this before too. But hey… she might just talk about what she loved while you were at it and how you terribly turn her on. So listen up and your ego may just get beautifully stroked.
I am dying for a smoke Some women do not fall under the ‘cuddle’ or ‘let’s talk’ category but would rather smoke. This is not to tell you that she didn’t enjoy it but it’s more to do with her habit formation. She enjoys smoking so here she is doing what she enjoys after she is physically satisfied. The bright point with such women is that since they are up and about, they are usually willing to fix something for you to eat as well. So though you don’t get to hold her but you get to line your stomach and catch some sleep and rest your worked up body till she gets back with the grub. And in case you smoke, then just as well… you probably want a smoke as badly.
Anything as long as we are together There are some to whom ‘what’ does not matter as long as it’s ‘with’ you. A thing that kills most women and their trust in you is your exit from their bed as soon as the act is over… or even worse - your quick exit from the house. Understand that something as small as wrapping you arms around her for a while after an orgasm can make all the difference. After all love is all about sharing and caring and sex is an expression of this love. Do not make it seem like a futile mechanical deed for whatever reasons because this will simply turn your woman off.
But what do you do if you are tired and just can’t keep your eyes open? You understand her needs absolutely and do care for her but what do you do if sleep is out to conquer you? If you are so terribly sleepy, which is quite natural after sex, then nap away but not before you do your best to let her know that it's nothing personal and that you really loved this as usual. Establish some sort of bodily touch, preferably wrap your arms around her, tell her that she excited you tremendously and wore you out tremendously and slip into your dreamland.
Remember that the underlying thought in whatever you do post sex should be to take into consideration her wants as well so that she feels desired. Whether you're with your long-time girlfriend, your wife or a woman with whom things are just picking up, a gentleman always makes an effort to ensure that the woman lying next to him feels secure after sex.
Ever wondered what silent but strong femme talk is all about? Let us share some of our 'classified' knowledge:
• If the lady listens to you but refuses to reveal her true desires and intention, probably you could try a go-between. How about asking a common friend to play cupid? • She meets you once, and the next time you propose, she not only agrees wholeheartedly, but is better dressed and groomed than before. Come on, you don't need us to tell you what that means?! Of course, she is more than interested in you! • The lady seems to have taken a keen interest in you, but will not consent to her love interest…know what that means? She wants to be wooed with diamonds and roses! Take the cue, this one is more demanding than you thought! • When the lady refuses to pay attention to you, probably because of her respect for you, or for herself, you still stand a fair chance of winning her over. Persuasion, once again is the handy tool! • The lady reproaches you strongly for harbouring love interests in her makes you feel like heading to another pasture; however if she is affectionate in spite of her rapprochement, you just need to be a bit more persuasive!