Relationships are tricky affairs. We want them, but in the face of opportunity we shudder, fret and loom in confusion. Sometimes we are scared to commit. Sometimes, we take a fancy to someone who’s already involved. Sigh! It’s all really a process of discovery. The problem arises when we look at a relationship as the ultimate solution to our problems, which could range from loneliness and depression to money and security. So what should you keep in mind when you are looking to have a fulfilling relationship?
Quite a few of us assume that a relationship is a solution to all our problems --- of loneliness, depression and emptiness. The belief is that if something is missing, a partner will help fill that void. It doesn’t happen that way. IT'S ONLY WHEN YOU FILL UP YOUR OWN VOID THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF BECOMING A PARTNER TO SOMEBODY ELSE. And you can do that only by getting to know yourself better. Ask yourself as many questions you can: what’s missing in your life? What do you like, and dislike, most about yourself? What is your ambition? Remember that getting into a relationship means getting to know another person better. And you can get to know others better only if you know yourself well enough.
Why is it that many of us just can’t tolerate our own company? We’d rather be with people we don’t like and don’t find fun than with ourselves. “It would be boring,” is what we think. But think again: are you so boring, so shorn of ideas that you’d prefer being stuck with a jerk for the best part of the evening? It’s no use regretting after the evening is over (“Oh I should have never gone out with him etc etc”). Instead think up of some interesting things you could do by yourself at home --- we can assure you that there are plenty of options. You’ll thank yourself the next day.
Very often people get into a relationship without knowing what they want from it. They rarely realize what they are capable of giving and what they expect. Hence, what's most important here is to discover yourself, your likes, dislikes, needs, aspirations etc. Know what you what and what you expect from the significant other. Remember, if you can't love the kind of person you are, no one can!
Every person looks for the "right person." But never expect too much. All of us have our shortcomings. You have to compromise. You might wait virtually all your life before finally finding a person who has got everything you ever wanted (looks, money, charm etc). The only problem could be that the two of you are as different as chalk and cheese! What do you do? Don't lose hope. You could start with light-hearted dates. During these, try to look beyond external appearances, get acquainted with the nature of the person. If the latter outweighs 'bad side,' well you could have something going. The message here is: keep a positive outlook and an open mind; it improves your chances of finding a match.