You may subscribe to the theory that guys are superior but picking up on things from women without letting them know will only make you better without hurting your ego. Here's what you can learn from the fairer sex.
1. Be sensitive It's great to be cool and stay unaffected by many things but sometimes being sensitive on a daily basis can save you greater heartbreaks. If you don't laugh when you girlfriend falls and if you make greater efforts to please her and wipe her tears when she's upset, she's likely to never give you the kick.
2. Ask for directions Women rarely waste time in finding an address not known to them. Why? Because they freely ask for directions. They don't see anything wrong in admitting the fact that they can get lost if they are not careful enough. So, what's the harm if you guys accept it as well? It will only save you petrol and lots of time!
3. Pay a little more attention Almost all of you would have heard from your woman that "why don't you listen carefully to me?" This is because men in general have short term attention spans and they often don't tune in carefully to what is being told. Whereas women are more interested in developing inter-personal relationships so they observe people minutely and listen in more actively too. No wonder, they understand people better and are able to make better judgements.
4. Express your emotions You often hold back your true feelings even from the ones you love the most. No, you aren't an odd man out- this is how most men are wired. But this trait of yours unintentionally creates complications and could sometimes even alienate the people you love. On the other hand women are quite expressive and speak their heart to win hearts. If you guys learnt the art of expression from women and became expressive too, world would become a much less complicated place to live in.
5. Learn the art of balancing Of course you can balance gaming and work well, but how about effectively living a few more responsibilities? You can learn this art of balancing from women. They balance work, taking care of the house, partying, indulging themselves and their loved ones and enjoying their hobbies, all of it with a smile sitting pretty on their face. It's definitely not easy but not impossible too. So how about giving it a try!
INTRODUCE YOUR GIRL TO YOUR FAMILY THIS DIWALI
Diwali is the time when moods are generous, spirits are high, and the families are together. What then could be a better opportunity to introduce your girl to your family? Just plan your moves and this could become a memorable Diwali for all of you.
1. Tell her what to expect Yes, overwhelming her with details of what your family likes, what they hate, what she should and should not do, say or wear can become intimidating. But gently letting her know about your family history, nature of your parents and their expectations could help you avert major disasters. Don't instruct or order, just drop hints, and she will then please them accordingly.
2. Don't surprise your parents Just having your girl over and then surprising your family with her presence could get unpleasant. So, talk to them before hand and gauge their feelings. Tell them what this woman means to you and why you would like them to meet her. If they seem opposed to the idea, don't call her. It will only spoil the fervour of Diwali. If they seem ready, don't forget to thank them for this Diwali gift.
3. Call her over for Lakshmi Pooja If your parents are the religious kind and your girl can live up to their expectations then timing the meeting around the Lakshmi Pooja could work wonders. Just ensure that your girl knows the basic dos and don'ts followed in your family.
4. Know who comes first You may be very close to your cousins, uncles and aunts, but this is the time to prioritise. Introduce her first to your parents so that your girl realises that your parents and their opinion is still very important to you and your parents understand how keen she is on meeting them. This will make your folks feel valued and well respected. Post this— it's the turn of your siblings. Now introduce her to the rest of the family, but don't make her uncomfortable by over doing it.
5. Play the space game It's a good idea to be initially there but when you sense that your girl has struck a chord and is becoming comfortable with your parents, give all of them some space. Do walk back in between to check what's happening but don't stick around forever. Give your woman a chance to impress your folks and let her also get an inkling of how well she can fit in.
6. Keep the conversations clean This is the first meeting – avoid touchy topics such as marriage and religion. Discourage your parents from asking her tricky questions such as 'will you stay with us after marriage', at this stage. This is the time to let them all know and understand each other. Urge them to do just that.
5 DON’TS WHILE DATING A COLLEAGUE
In today's fast-paced world where working individuals spend a sizeable chunk of their life at their workplace, office relationships have simply become inevitable. Hence, office dating has evolved from being a taboo subject to being a rather acceptable norm at most offices. However, it still remains as tricky. To help you make the most of your relationship and still keep up with your professional life, here are some valuable guidelines:
1. Avoid dating a immediate subordinate Dating a professional equal is very different from dating someone who reports to you. Dating a junior may still be fine as long as she works in a different department or a different team. But, dating an immediate subordinate gives others a chance to blame you for being partial to the woman you are dating. It may also attract sexual harassment charges later when the two of you fall apart. And for all you know, a woman subordinate may actually date you for furthering her career while you may be genuinely interested in her. To avoid any controversies, it’s best to stay away from such relationships.
2. Don’t bring your relationship to the office Fights, conflicts or overflowing love: whatever it may be, leave it at home and wait to continue it till you get back home. This means that you do not display your affection in public or discuss problems with her and also do not discuss your relationship with other coworkers. You may or may not let others know about the relationship, but in any case, you should behave professionally at work with your girl and coax her to do the same.
3. Don’t discuss work at home Like you should not take your relationship to the office, you should not discuss work after work hours either. If you do so, you will soon start feeling the lack of ‘space’ and ‘interesting topics to discuss’ as you both will be too busy sorting out work tensions post work too.
4. Beware of using office communication Do not use the intranet to send love mails or to sort out personal stuff. Use your mobile for messaging instead. You don’t want to give proof to your seniors that during office hours you are attending to your personal woes. Neither do you want your woman to get you into trouble once the love story ends.
5. Skip the ‘couple’ act at office do’s Unless you are about to get married, it’s best not to turn up for every office party as a couple. This does not mean that you need to avoid her at these parties, but you can just be casual with her and not stick it out together throughout.
Remember, office relationships require you to do a two-way balancing act: both with your girl and at your workplace. So, be sure that you are ready for it before you take the plunge.
INTRODUCING YOUR WOMAN TO YOUR FRIENDS?
If you are just about to make your girlfriend meet your friends for the first time, your anxiety is not misplaced. But you will be surprised to know that the success of this meeting depends to a large extent on you. Here is how you can ensure that everything flows smoothly...
1. Choose the right occasion and place Introducing your new found love to your friends at another friend's wedding or someone's birthday is a seriously bad idea. This is because, during the first meeting your love would want your maximum attention and support and if you give your love this support during someone else's special day, it will not be appreciated by your friends. Choose a neutral evening and a pleasant place like a coffee shop or a pub to introduce your woman to your gang. The casual setting, relaxed moods and a lack of a set agenda would help.
2. Let your pals know what this girl means to you Genuine friends want the best for you, so convince them that this girl is perfect for you and they will see her in a positive light. Do remember, a good beginning is as good as half a battle won.
3. Talk to your girl about your friend's Just like your friends must know what your girlfriend means to you, your girlfriend must understand their significance in your life as well. Let her know in brief about each of your friends and your rapport with them.
4. Keep those wild stories locked for now! From the first person you kissed in college to your one night stands, your friends know all your dark secrets. Although, it's great to have people who know you so well, ensure they don't bring up these stories during the first meeting with your girl. These stories are likely to make her uncomfortable, especially if she is not familiar with them, and could even lead to unpleasant arguments between the two of you later. So, warn your friends to keep them locked for now.
5. Let your woman know about your girl pals It is more than likely that you have some women in your best friends' circle. It is important that your woman does not feel insecure about them. To develop that faith and comfort level, tell your girl in advance about your relationship with them, how you behave with them and what it means so that she does not take that harmless hug or a friendly caress from your girl pals otherwise.
And most important of all, don't behave like a watchdog during the evening. Give your woman and your pals time and space to connect with each other. After all, that is the sole purpose of this meeting. All the best!
IS SHE THE ONE?
Love is a complex emotion - one day she's just a friend, the next you find words like 'love' and 'forever' popping into your head. But is she the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is she really 'the one'?
To begin with, accept this fact - there is no such thing as 'the one'. At any point in time, depending on our state of mind and life, almost anybody barring a few major exceptions could be your 'one'. So don't try to look for the one person who makes you feel like no other. Who you end up with is as much a product of your environment and circumstances.
Take your time to decide if she is the one for you. If she is, you'll find that after the initial exciting butterflies-in-your-stomach phase, what you feel with her is a great sense of comfort and ease.
She seems to 'belong' in your life - she gets along well with your friends, your parents love her - and even if they don't, you find she fits in with you, your moods, and your lifestyle with no complaints. She enjoys it even!
You don't need to spend time with her 24/7. You trust her even when you don't know where she is and you don't feel the need to call her every 15 minutes to find out what she's up to.
She is never obsessive or overly critical - you have managed to find a healthy balance where you are able to be honest with each other about your flaws as well as positives. You are not hurt when she dislikes something you have done but use it as a springboard to improve, and vice versa!