So your girlfriend or wife has asked for your opinion on something she’s done or is considering doing that you disagree with. Typically, expressing your opinion frankly, even though she asked for it, leads to a screaming match and many cold glares and silences. There are ways, however, to be honest and yet express yourself sensitively.
•Talk about things as they are in their present state rather than hoping for what they could have been or what they once were. This is especially important when discussing aspects of your relationship. Dwelling in the past or focusing too much on the future gives the impression you are completely unhappy with your present. • Be in touch with what has occurred rather than your judgment of right or wrong. Judgments arise out of one’s personal frame of reference or value system and should be avoided. • Share perceptions and feelings rather than doling out advice. By sharing feelings, you leave the other person free to work on the best available option. The fault with giving advice is that you deprive the other person of his/her freedom to choose an appropriate course of action.
Though this may sound obvious, we often tend to let the obvious get obscured in our day to day lives.
If you are blessed with a woman who nags nags and nags whether on a holiday or at a movie or at home or on the phone... its bound to get to you. But then you do love her and cherish her for whatever she is. So how do you deal with the nag routine?
Find out why she nags To begin with, find our why she nags. A great girl friend knows when to talk and when to let it slide. But if your babe isn’t being all that great, then you must find out the reason behind it – is it you or is it her? If she nags her guts out because you have forgotten dirty socks in the shoes, which you rarely do, then it is of course about her. But if you live together and you stay out all night without calling her, and she gets at you in the morning, then it is without doubt about you. In fact in such a situation, if she doesn’t nag then you must foresee a disaster approaching you.
Don’t give her a reason to nag If your ladylove nags on some one or two particular issues that bother her then get rid of those irritating and unpleasant habits and see the difference. It is worth it to give in to get out of the nagging whirlpool. For instance, if your leaving dirty clothes on the carpet in the drawing room irritates her or your being late all the time gets to her, don’t do it.
However, if your woman is a habitual nagger then you do have a problem on hand. No one wants a girlfriend who will give you hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally. So what do you do with this nagging lady?
Here are a few tips on handling the nagging pressure
- Straight talk often works. Sit your girlfriend down and tell her that she cant push you around like this and that her nagging habit is making you stay away from her. If she values you enough and loves you for what you are, then she is bound to reduce the nag routine. For all you know, she may not be aware of her shortcomings. So let her know but remember to be polite and sensitive.
- When you are doing the talking, it is important to let her know how you feel but don’t get carried away. Don’t fight, abuse or argue. If you do any of this, you are going to be no better than the nag herself.
- Don’t expect magic overnight after discussing the issues. If her nagging skills reduce visibly after your ‘let’s talk session’ then you know you are good. In fact, you must encourage her at the end of day by telling her that today was blissfully pleasant because she nagged much less.
- Find out if her nagging is a superficial cover hiding something more intense. Is she nagging visibly and so obviously because she wants to get rid of you? Is this her way of slowly breaking away and letting you get over her?
- Find out if she is generally dissatisfied with you and is in the process of getting detached. Sometimes in a relationship, when one partner becomes mentally and emotionally detached, then smallest of the other partners habits tend to irritate them. Basically, unconsciously they are out of a relationship and the nagging is just an automatic reaction that is generated. If you are in such a situation then ending the relationship amicably is the only choice you and your girlfriend have.
- Give her extra love and extra attention and make her feel like a princess. Make her feel loved. Love and care have the ability to resolve all conflicts and will leave your girl willing to give up anything to please you. So it is up to you to prove to her that you deserve the freedom of space and time and you will make up to her.
The idea behind being together is to have a blast and not to waste time in nagging sessions. Demonstrate this to her and you will find yourself in paradise!
How many times have you fought it out with your precious other and later regretted at having wasted your breath over trivial issues? Pretty often, we fear. The yin yang tussle is not about winning instead it is about surviving losses…together. However, much as we would like to deny it, the fact remains that the fairer sex does have an advantage over us men and most of the time they seem to be using it to their advantage. Women’s most potent weapon against men is `trick questions’, which are dangerously personal and most often than not end up catching men on the (oops) wrong foot.
Especially dangerous is the innocent, lethal variety that flings those innocuous gentle ones ever so often. `Honey am I looking too fat in this?’ or `Is this bag going with this dress?’ and other potential RDX material.
Be extra vigilant while discussing women and their appearances, as there is high possibility that you could be saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Men are yet to understand the complex relation which most women share with their appearance and body structure, it is best to avoid these areas guys, unless you are doubly sure.