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- Juhi Dua

The culture of meeting women in pubs is relatively new in India but is fast catching on. However, to ensure that you emerge victorious in this tricky game without getting into trouble, you must follow its rules.

Here are the top five rules you need to keep in mind while approaching a women in a pub:

1. Take hints and follow her instructions
If a woman catches your attention, you may bless her with constant glances and occasional stares but don’t stare continuously. This will irritate her. Once she notices your interest in her and smiles back then you know that half your job is done. That smile is a hint for you that you can take it ahead. But in case she gives you an unfriendly no-nonsense glare then you know that she is asking you to back off and immediately.

In case she just avoids your look and refuses to give any response, whether negative or positive, it means that she doesn’t know how to deal with this sudden attention and isn’t sure of herself. You might as well leave her alone. Women respect men who follow her instructions so let her lead and you follow. And in case she leads you on first, celebrate your good luck!

2. Use body language to create excitement
Half the fun about meeting women in pubs is the process of meeting them itself. Flash your killer smile at her, look at her with passionate charm, wink, shrug your shoulders suggestively, raise the glass to her - toasting together in the air and drink in style. Let her feel flattered and wanted.

3. Be patient and wait for her response
Women like complex games. They enjoy the attention but expect a bit of chase so don’t hurry it up too much. Don’t be impatient and don’t ruin it by going straight to her and asking her out. Let your eyes get hooked with her. Play the ‘look and smile’ game and give her time to get used to your presence in the pub. Give her time to start liking you around her. Approach her only when the distant flirting has reached a point where chatting shall come easy.

4. Do not read too much between the lines
If you reach the talking stage and the chattering away is rather easy and pleasant then do not take it for granted that she is ready to jump into the bed with you. If she is, she will give you a signal. But on your side, you must take it easy and let her give you a hint on what she wants with you. Women do not like men focused on getting physical so make subtle advances. Talk to her. Get her comfortable and let her feel wanted. If she is constantly playing with her phone, then you can muster courage and ask her casually for her number. Flirt Flirt Flirt! The rest will automatically follow if it has to.

5. Respect her decision
Like from a huge crowd you chose to hit on her, she may choose to ignore you or despise you. If she does, leave it at that and fix your gaze somewhere else. After all, there is no dearth of interesting faces so do not force your self on someone who doesn’t want you. As a rule, never approach a girl when she doesn’t give you positive vibes. This will just make the situation ugly. For all you know, you might be thrown out of the pub for getting funny with a woman.

What you could try:
1. Sending her flattering messages written on a chit without letting her no who it is. This could build on excitement.
2. Sending a wine bottle or even better, finding out the poison she likes from the bartender and ordering a glass of that for her with compliments from you.
3. Dedicating a number delicately flavoured with romance.

What you need to avoid:
1. Cheesy pick-up lines. They are putting off for anyone with dignity and good taste.
2. A straight on introduction. A backing of eye connect or distant flirting is a must. “Hi, I am xyz and I find you interesting” is a complete no no.
3. The statement – “I think I have seen you before” is a loser’s statement with no originality. Avoid using it like plague.

The bottom line is to have fun together and not to intimidate her. So become a true blue lady-killer with style and score over others. All the best!


Here are a few pointers to show that she is losing interest!

•  If your date folds her arms at the chest
•  Refuses to make eye-contact
•  Folds her legs at the ankle

If you notice this body language, be doubly sure that it is time you changed your topics of discussion because she is exhibiting definite signs of boredom and disinterest.

Probably the soccer match, which you were discussing with her, is not exactly her cup of tea. Now don’t start sharing home hints instead but books and music could be a smart alternative. They will not only liven the discussion but will also provide a helpful insight into the person. REMEMBER DON’T IGNORE THE CROSSED ANKLES AND ARMS! They are a prelude to undesirable consequences up ahead!

In case you do, unfortunately, encounter any of these behaviour traits during your date, do not get disheartened; remember there is an antidote for, well, almost everything


They may sound boring, but sometimes you may have no choice but to use them --- especially when your brain stops working, and your tongue refuses to move. Here are some simple ways to get the conversation going, as you try to gather your wits:

• The easiest way out is a compliment. “Your dress is great” or “Your perfume smells lovely” will do fine.
• Another emergency option is to ask her where did she purchase the clothing, or the perfume from.
• Ask her if she’s seen any movies, or heard any new music of late.
• The bottom line is that you have to ask her something --- or rather anything!

Of course, you can’t spend the whole evening talking about such non-relevant things. They’re just meant to save you temporarily.


It’s perfectly reasonable to feel this way. Evenings out don’t exactly come cheap these days, so if your partner is a working girl she should be pitching in too. But there’s no need to bring out the calculator after every date, and split the tab 50:50. You can try working out an informal arrangement by which you pick up the bill on some days, and she on some. But if you meet resistance from her part, try to find out why she isn’t paying. She may have some genuine reasons (her parents might need the money, or her salary may be on the lower side). But if you don’t get any satisfactory explanations, watch out.
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