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tip4me.com - first date

FIRST DATE

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY ON YOUR FIRST DATE 

- Juhi Dua


We list out the top 10 things for you that youíd rather not say to your date, especially the first time around, if you want to see her again. At the same time, use these lines, solo or in combination, if you donít want to see her again. Either way, these work like magic.

1. "Hi, what did you say your name was?"

2. "Contrary to my imagination, you are fat! You sounded like a slim girl on the phone."

3. "No no, not there, letís go to a cheap-ish sort of a place." (Just lead her to a cheerful cafť thatís easy on your pocket if you must, but why say it.)

4. "I like to go Dutch so this is your share." (Even worse) "I like to go Dutch so this is your share, unless youíd like to pick the bill of course."

5. "Normally, I donít go out with dark girls like you but I will make an exception this time, just for you." (Use this one if you really want the girl to leave, because no girl is going to put up with this one for sure.)

6. "You know what, you remind me of my ex." (Most girls will hate to hear this. She wants you to appreciate her as an individual, not typecast her into some slot from your past.)

7. "So, tell me about your ex." (Even worse) "So, how many affairs have you had?"

8. "My ex and I met here for the first time and thatís why I chose this place for our first meeting too." (This shows you are still too smitten by your ex girlfriend and no self respecting girl will dig this.)

9. "Wow! You seem like a rich girl, look at the watch you are wearing." (Why would you say this? You donít want her to think you are with her for the big bucks and the frills that come with it; skip this one completely.)

10. "I canít stand kids." (This is a very sticky one. If she adores kids, she will instantly find you weird. And even if she doesnít like kids, she will have doubts about your commitment levels as this statement fits someone who is averse to a serious relationship that might tilt towards marriage.)

 

DATING HABITS THAT WOMEN DISLIKE 


Contrary to popular opinion, women tend to get easily impressed by men. But Ė and hereís something men know -- they get put off pretty quickly too, and then itís difficult to get them interested again. So when taking a woman out, you need to keep the female psyche in mind in order to make your evening a success. Hereís the low down on five dating habits that women dislike:

1. Being asked to pay her share
Yes, this is the era of womenís lib and equality. So why shouldnít they be asked to pay their share? Most women do offer to pay up and when they do, let them pay for sure. But if not, donít ask them to pay up; thatís rude and shows lack of manners. In any case, for the first few dates, itís best to take your woman out to places you can afford so that you arenít bothered about the moolah issue. Most smart women might let you pay but make it up to you the next time around by footing the entire bill herself. So just relax and donít cross the boundaries.

2. Waiting for her date to arrive
Women hate waiting. They consider making their dates wait their right, but if theyíre the ones who have to wait, theyíd rather drop the date entirely. A guy who is late makes them feel that they are low on his priority list. It also shows his lack of sincerity toward the girl and disrespect for her time. So guys, the least you can do is be there on time and wait for the madam to arrive.

3. Listening to your lifeís mundane details
A number of guys go on and on about themselves in order to impress the belle. They talk about where they were born, how many times they topped in school, how many farms their parents own, how smart they were in college and how many women followed them around. The true-blue bragger wonít stop at this. He goes on to explain how he got every job he walked in for, what colors he likes, what his philosophy in life is and on and on.... This blowing of your own trumpet would irritate any smart, self-respecting girl. So take it easy, buddy. Take a deep breath, push back your chair and create space for a conversation, not a monologue. Make this date about getting to know each other instead of a one-sided ego-flattering session.

4. The roving eye syndrome
Letís face it, some men just canít help it. They just have to look at every woman that passes by or is sitting around them. And letís face this too, women just love attention. They hate men who are with them but want to look at others. The roving eye syndrome is something no woman tolerates on a date. Even if the most gorgeous head-turner passes by, a woman expects her date to keep staring into her eyes. The bottom line is simple -- control the reflex movement of your neck for a few hours if you want the evening to be a success.

5. Cry babies
Women come out on a date with you to have fun. But some guys think the emotional route works faster and might decide to turn on the water works. Hereís the truth revealed -- women do not like cry babies. You may have been ditched ten times and you make think that this makes for ten interesting stories, but your date may not think so. Instead, your date may think that if you were ditched so often, you must not be worth keeping. So donít try to take short cuts. At least on the first date, remember to keep away all sob stories about your poor family, tough career, and difficult life. They have enough hardships of their own to handle so donít over-burden them with more. Make it a truly entertaining evening and let your hair down.

Avoid these habits like the plague and you will see the magic unfold. Happy wooing!
 

WHAT TO DO WHEN SHE JUST WONíT CALL BACK!


So youíve been out on a date with a woman who was witty, charming, beautiful and everything in between. She made sparkling conversation, charmed you with her wit and grace, and now you basically canít wait to meet her again. But the problem is, several days have gone by since the date and she hasnít called! What should you do?

Sometimes girls can be shy about making the first move, especially if theyíre unsure what you thought of them, so two-three days after the first date, you should go ahead and call her. Donít dive right into making plans for a second date Ė make some general conversation, refer to some conversation you had on your date and make thoughtful remarks. This will show her youíre genuinely interested in her. Only then should you get to planning a second date.

If the girl cuts you off at this point with an ďIíll call you backĒ or ďLet me get back to youĒ, donít take it too hard. It could be a genuine problem. Wait for her to get back to you Ė donít appear too desperate by calling her back immediately!

If she doesnít call for a day or two, donít get too tense. Again, it neednít be a sign sheís not interested. It would be advisable at this point to call her only after a few daysí gap. If she still avoids you, it would be better to just let things lie for a while.

If the girlís really interested, at this point, sheíll get back to you herself. If she doesnít, you might want to subtly make enquiries with her friends if you know them well. You could try calling again after about a week. Donít be a needy puppy and call her repeatedly! If she doesnít bother staying in touch, neither should you! Keep yourself busy with work, and in a couple of weeksí time, it would be best to forget all about her and perhaps even date someone else. Anything sooner than that and youíll just appear cavalier Ė even if she does get back in touch with you soon, sheíll regret it.

So make your case, stay positive and, if necessary, accept the inevitable. Sometimes, itís just not meant to happen no matter how right it feels!
 

MAKE YOUR FIRST DATE EXCITING


Okay, so you asked her out --- or perhaps she did --- and you are all set for the big day. Well, what will it be, a movie? Thatís what most couples do on first dates. But you can always try something different. How about a walk through a local exhibition, a museum, a park, the beach, or a long drive, or a restaurant that both of you can try out for the first time. Hey, you can even set a dating match (only if there is a common sport of interest) or even go music or book shopping! These dating alternatives have enough external elements that will get both of you talking to each other. This way you get to have fun plus get to know her a little better than you would have when watching a movie.
 

FLOWER POWER OR DATE BLOWER


Yes, we have said in the past that flowers are a definite winner with women. They invariably love it. A word of caution though, what if she is allergic to pollen or feels strongly about flowers being plucked out of plants? You donítí want to end up on the wrong side of things, do you? Especially on your first date!

So, it will always help to get to know her likes and dislikes better first. Then decide between flowers or chocolates. And do remember that you neednít be the delivery boy. You could always ask the florist to deliver them to her. Donít be in a haste to do so yourself, a little restraint is going to earn you rich dividends!
 

BREAKING THE ICE Ė FIRST DATES


Youíre on your first date, and youíre frantically searching for things to say. Yes, it isnít easy --- should I be natural, and say whatever I feel like? Or should I plan it all out, and go with a prepared speech? Both options have their dangers. The danger of saying whatever comes to your mind is that you may talk too much (itís your first date, remember) or say the wrong things. On the other hand, if you go prepared with what to say, you may sound boring and unnatural. The trick therefore is to maintain a balance.

ē Prepare yourself with some common conversation boosters (what do you study, whatís your family like, where were you born etc). But try to be natural when answering questions.
ē That doesnít mean you blurt out whatever comes to your mind.
ē Stay calm, take your time, and answer.
ē If you feel the conversation isnít getting anywhere, relax. Itís only your first date. If you feel you want to know more about this girl, fix up a second date by the end of the evening. Both of you will be more comfortable by then.
 


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