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tips4me.com - space and time\

SPACE AND TIME

5 SUMMER WAYS TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER

Does he often tell you that itís too hot or humid to meet? Well, obviously the weather is playing tricks with your relationship but why should you succumb to it? Here are five simple yet fun ways of being together, away from the deadly clutches of heat and humidity:

1. Learn Salsa
Join an evening class to learn this romantic dance form with him. As a bonus, you can mesmerize everyone at the next party by beautifully dancing together.

2. Have a private party!
Who said you need to party at a club or need a crowd to have one at home? Spruce up your place and call your partner over. Welcome him with a smile, dim the lights, mix a couple of fancy drinks, order some food, play some romantic dance music and there- you are all set to rock with him.

3. Relax with a board game
Playing a game you both like is a great way to unwind. So settle down in the comfort of your house or a cafť, bring out that Scrabble, Taboo or ChessÖ whatever you both connect over, and let the game begin.

4. Set the mood with a movie
Classic and the best way to spend some cozy hours in each thereís arms- watch a movie at home. Stick to a light romantic comedy to build the mood or go for a passionate flick like Ď9 Songsí for a more action oriented evening.

5. Go for a swim
Start your day with a refreshing swim and urge your partner to join you. This way, you will meet your man first thing in the morning and then continue to linger on his mind for the whole day of course.

The aim is to not let the bright sun take the brightness out of your life. So ladies! Get ready to experience the joys of togetherness with these cool ideas.


 
5 SIGNS OF OVER-POSSESSIVENESS

Juhi Dua


He may be chilled out now, but as you get comfortable with your dude, will he turn into an over-possessive man who will lay down codes for you regarding everything? Will he behave as if he owns you? This isnít easy to predict, but not impossible to figure out either. All you need to do is watch out for these five warning signals to know if a relationship with him would control you or liberate you:

1. He constantly wants to know where you are and with whom

Being concerned is one thing and trampling all over your partnerís space is another. If your man is over-inquisitive about your whereabouts and company all the time, then he is likely to not give you freedom of thought or action.

2. He doesnít like most of your friends

Most over-possessive guys want you to just concentrate on them. So if your man is too critical of your pals and keeps hinting that you are better off without them then you know that he is bound to be over-possessive.

3. He floods you with calls and messages

Over-possessive guys usually keep in touch excessively and expect you to do the same. So beware!

4. He makes a huge fuss each time you are late

If he expects you to be home by a particular time each day and begins to inundate you with calls when you are late then you know that you are dating a compulsive over-possessive dude.

5. He clings to you during every party or get-together

And not just that, he keeps eyeing you when you are chatting with another guy. A hint about whatís coming up doesnít get more blatant.

Remember, you are not an object and that no one can "possesses" you. Possessiveness is, therefore, automatically abusive. So to avoid getting abused, stay aware of these signs. Happy dating!

 
KEEPING YOUR DISTANCE!

The start of a relationship can be an exciting time Ė you might want to spend every minute of your day with your new guy and the hours you spend apart are excruciating! Does this sound like you? Perhaps you need to re-assess your priorities.

Although in the beginning it is nice to spend all your free time together, what you may do instead is get an overdose of each other too early and end up bored after a few months! Some amount of distance is important in every relationship to keep things exciting and ensure your attraction to each other does not diminish too soon.

It is also critical to ensure you don't start ignoring your friends and family such that your entire life begins to revolve around your new boyfriend. Do hold on to your own existence, have a life that is separate from him, and have your own personal time which he does not invade. Meet often, but do it sometimes with your friends, so that you are not removing each other from your respective lives but becoming part of each others' lives instead. The idea is for you to fit into his world and vice versa. This way, when you do get your alone time, it'll be extra special to both of you! Also, if things don't work out, you don't experience a void but already have your own friends, job, and activities you can just return to seamlessly without going through that awful lonely phase!

 
IS YOUR MAN CHANGING YOU?

Its all well to be adjusting but altering your entire personality for your boy friend may not be the best policy. If you have started dreaming the way he wants you to, if you have started thinking the way he wants you to and have started even dressing and speaking the way he wants you to, then you arenít you anymore. You are just a pretty doll tailored by him for his comfort.

But is it ok to bend all the time?

Ishita, 28, a fashion designer with a leading store says, ďwhy not? If changing my certain habits makes him happy, even though I may not agree with him all the time, I do it for him. For instance, I wasnít really a party animal till I met him and I didnít drink much. He is fond of partying till late even on weekdays and prefers me drinking so though it can get not so pleasing sometimes, I indulge in it because it makes him happy. After all itís all about adjusting to each otherís ways.Ē

Though it is great to change your lifestyle and behavior to selflessly sacrifice for your love but excess of that could send out wrong signals.

1. You donít want to make the guy feel that it will always be you who will keep bending and changing for him, especially when the demands from his side may not be very comforting. For instance, if you donít like partying till late on weekdays, you donít have to do it all the time.

2. Your man fell for you for who you are - for your great sense of humor, your love for fashion, your passion for your career, your quirks. If he now suddenly starts to detest these very things then its he who needs to change, not you.

3. Do you really think that guys respect women who donít have self-respect? Think again. Cutting and snipping your personality to suit his style and letting him trample all over your self-respect also may not get you his love and respect after all so why slog for it?

4. If your man really loves you, he should respect your likes and dislikes. His forcing you to get into habits which donít come naturally to you, just show his insensitivity towards you. You surely donít deserve an insensitive man.

5. By becoming a person he would like you to be, you are building an image of a person that does not exist. What if your man falls for this imaginary person that you are trying to become? Are you willing to really live this pseudo life all along then? Is it really worth it?

Learn to handle the Ďchange for meí syndrome

1. Play the reverse game
Ask him that if you put the same pressure on him how would he react?

2. Voice your discomfort
Tell him that you donít like being told how to dress and how to walk and what to read (considering there is nothing seriously wrong with it and itís just a matter of personal choice and cultivation.)

3. State your terms and stick by them
Tell him that constant cribbing and nitpicking bugs you and youíd rather be smiling all the time when you are with him. Explain to him that mutual respect is important for you to be in a relationship.

Evaluate your decisions and go ahead with what you think is apt for you. Whatever be your stand, be sure that you are being true to yourself. You are not his shadow so live your own life. Be your own person. Be your own guide.

Remember that no one should have to change to be loved!
 
 

GIVING SPACE


Erudite poet, philosopher, Khalil Gibran had once advised couples to let the winds of freshness and space blow between them. One must guard against being a crutch or shadow of the other person, prophesied the wise man. Gibran, renowned for his sensitive handling of sensible matters gave the world some of the most marvelous gems of wisdom and maintaining individuality and space in a relation is just one of them.

Maintaining your own while lending ear to the other personís ideas is what makes a relationship thrive. There should be mutual respect for differences and also an atmosphere that is congenial for growth and spawning new ideas. So no matter how tempted you are to tow the other personís line or make him follow your dictates, curb the whims, since that is all they are -- whims, sensibility demands that each of us maintain our individuality. Giving and creating space for the other person is perhaps the most beautiful part of any relationship
 

LET YOUR LOVE GROW


Making a relationship last is one of the toughest tasks in the world. And itís even harder for girls, who often take off on a guilt trip once the relationship ends. ďI must have done something wrong,Ē is the common feminine refrain. Maybe you did, but everybody does: nobody is perfect.

One problem with women is that they feel that they constantly have to do things to keep their guys happy. If they arenít doing something for him, perhaps theyíre not doing their duty. This actually can be quite irritating for many guys, who value their breathing space. They want to be alone sometimes. So understand that, and get out of the way sometimes. That could help the relationship blossom.
 

DONíT TRY TO CHANGE HIM


Most women feel that if they love a man, itís their responsibility to ďimproveĒ him. Yes, we agree that most men need improvement, but the only problem is that they donít think they need it --- certainly not from you. You may feel that you are genuinely trying to help him, but the man doesnít think of it that way. He feels that youíre trying to ďcontrolĒ him. So the more you persist, the more he resists. And that leads to a lot of frustration on both sides.

So what do you do? Well, go easy on the poor guy. Let him make his own decisions (even if theyíre wrong). Avoid constantly pointing out his mistakes. He wonít like it. But remember one thing: men may not like being ďnaggedĒ but they donít like being ignored either. So chances are if you stop trying to ďcontrolĒ him, heíll miss it, and start coming to you for advice. Thatís when you can oblige. But try to maintain a balance. Itís difficult, but then so are men.

Erudite poet, philosopher, Khalil Gibran had once advised couples to let the winds of freshness and space blow between them. One must guard against being a crutch or shadow of the other person, prophesied the wise man. Gibran, renowned for his sensitive handling of sensible matters gave the world some of the most marvelous gems of wisdom and maintaining individuality and space in a relation is just one of them.

Maintaining your own while lending ear to the other personís ideas is what makes a relationship thrive. There should be mutual respect for differences and also an atmosphere that is congenial for growth and spawning new ideas. So no matter how tempted you are to tow the other personís line or make him follow your dictates, curb the whims, since that is all they are -- whims, sensibility demands that each of us maintain our individuality. Giving and creating space for the other person is perhaps the most beautiful part of any relationship.
 

 


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