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REALITY BITES

TOP 5 TIPS ON MAKING A RELATIONSHIP LAST


How do you handle the heat when the honeymoon gets over? Here are 5 time-tested tips to help you cope up with the hiccups and make your relationship last longer:

1.

Ignore your partnersí fallouts
Donít escalate the negatives in him regularly. Learn to live with him as a person, subtly bring up the issues that bother you, only if they are severely impact your lives together. Discuss issues to strictly find solutions that are mutually acceptable, admitting that you have limitations too. Donít play the blame game ever.

2.

Do not encourage a slinging match
Disagreements, arguments and fights are bound to occur. Ensure that you keep these fights, free of abuse and bitter accusations. Hurtful words once uttered in a fit of anger can scar your mateís feelings forever and thus your relationship.

3.

Build trust in each other
Stand by your man when the going gets tough for him, let him know that you care, give him a long rope. At the same time, give him space, donít mother him and be overbearing. Build trust in every way possible.

4.

Bury the bad forever
Discussing the bad times and analyzing whose fault it was and what your man should have and should not have done will only butcher your current relationship with him. So itís best for you to bury the bad memories forever.

5.  

Celebrate the good times
Celebrating achievements and sharing happiness can immensely strengthen a bond. So go ahead and raise a toast to your togetherness.

   

WHEN A LIVE-IN DOESNíT WORK


Making a significant commitment to someone you love by moving in together is one of the most exciting and important periods in a relationship. Sharing your joys and sorrows and living a life together can be magical. But when your precious relationship with your live-in partner starts crumbling, all hell breaks loose. Handling your emotions and looking for a den to set up your life from the beginning yet again can simply break you. Here are 5 tips to help you manage your emotions when your live-in relationship goes all wrong...

1. Make the parting amicable
Accept the fact that all relationships donít last forever. So now that itís over, it doesnít matter who called it quits. What matters is that this person you lived with was once special to you and treating him/her with dignity now is the least you can do. Whether you would want to maintain touch with the person in the future would depend on the reasons for the break-up and the current status of your relationship. But keep the parting free of fights and slinging matches, as it will only make it easy for you.

2. Give your partner time to accept your decision
If itís you who wants to break free then ensure that you give enough time to your partner. You may have reasons to move on but your partner may not be expecting it. Go ahead with what you have planned Ė you have all the right to - but do it gracefully. Announcing the end of a relationship over an argument is simply not on. Sit down with your partner and let him/her know how you feel about the issue and what you want. Give the person enough time to digest your decision and plan the way ahead.

3. Donít fight on material possessions
Be fair to your ex. Donít be petty and do not be mean by asking your ex to move out over-night. Remember, this was the space the two of you shared so both of you have equal rights over the house, unless it belongs to one of you. If he/she put in equal money on doing up the space then itís only fair to allow him/her to carry their fair share.

4. No excessive emotional baggage please
Do not keep mulling over what happened. Do not replay in your head the sequence of the events and the exchange of dialogues that marked the break-up. Itís not the end of the world and tomorrow can bring better prospects but only if you allow it to. So, chill. Go out with friends but avoid common friends, as they will again bring up the same topic. Go for a movie. Get a massage. Generally rejuvenate and relax.

5. Take care of address change
If you are the one to move on, inform your bank, mobile service, business/work associates, friends and family about your new address so that you are not forced to talk to your ex-partner about your mail. If he/she is the one to move out, remind him/her gently to change the address so that you are not held responsible for misplaced mail. Also you donít want his/her mail to become a reason for contact.

The idea here is to idiot proof your life so that the past doesnít creep back in and haunt you forever. Accept the fact that snapping out of a live-in is tough and make an effort to stay happy nevertheless. One day, and soon enough, you will win the battle of happiness!

 

HE'S SPENDING LESS TIME WITH ME


Remember those days when he just couldn't get enough of you, and kept trying to meet you everyday, sometimes even twice a day?

Yes, all that attention was fun. But six months into the relationship, those days appear a distant memory. These days, he prefers spending more time with his friends (a few of them female), and it seems like he almost forces himself to meet you. Is this the end?

Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps he doesn't have the guts to tell you it's over, so it's best that you confront him and find out whether he's lost interest. That's the only way you would know for sure. On the other hand, the initial excitement of being together might be wearing out (at least for him). Then maybe it's time you get together and discuss how to take the relationship to the next level. Whatever the case, the only way to find out what's wrong is to talk it out. Otherwise, the relationship will just meander, and the two of you will drift away without even knowing it.
 

LET BYGONES BE BYGONES


We all have our shares of skeletons in the cupboard, but if you keep on thinking about them you are missing out on the real people around. Stop ruminating on the past and some of its disastrous relations. Let bygones be bygones and think ahead with bright hope, you will be surprised to see how life changes for the better once you start thinking of better things. Think positive and be confident and most of all stop drawing up parallels or inferences to the past, this is the present, enjoy it.
 


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