Many of us feel that it’s not `right’ to ask for things. “It’s only selfish people who do that,” is a common refrain. Or sometimes we feel that if we ask for something and don’t get it, we will look really foolish then. Well, if you don’t ask, you may never get what you want. You might expect your boyfriend to understand your needs, but remember too that he is no mind-reader. If you want something, or feel that he isn’t doing something right, tell him. Don’t wait for him to realise that. What’s more, if you don’t make any demands at all, your mate could well assume that you’re the `accommodating’ and `non-complaining’ type. Result: he will do what he pleases, and you’ll be reduced to a doormat.
Many men come close to paranoia when their partners ask them questions like: “Do you think Rita (or whoever) is attractive?” Or, “Do you think I am fat?” As a woman, you may think this to be a perfectly routine question, with a totally simple answer. Men, however, read all kinds of things between the lines. They’re worried that if they do answer: “Yes, she’s attractive,” or “Yes, you’re fat,” you’ll make them pay for it.
Are they right? Sometimes they might be. You might be asking him about Rita, because you think he’s attracted to her. So instead of asking him: “Is Rita attractive,” be direct, and ask him: “Are you attracted to Rita.” You obviously won’t get an honest answer, but at least you’ve told him what you feel --- directly.
Women love asking questions. Avoid asking too many, especially after he’s had a long day, during a long car drive, before going to sleep, or when he’s working. And if you have to ask him something, get to the point. Don’t beat round the bush.
Ever regretted not having said a `Thank you honey, I really enjoyed that’ to your romantic other. Most of us tend to take acts of kindness for granted to such an extent that we actually forget that someone has actually gone an extra mile to ease up things for us.
If you love someone you need not get atop rooftops beating your chest with `I love you’, small acts of care, love and concern speak the loudest and are best remembered too.
So the next time your boyfriend takes you out for a meal make it a point to tell him that the food was nice. Being positive and encouraging is the biggest boost any relation requires. Nurture it with this warmth and see your relation roar with life and vivre!
Girls have a tendency to drop subtle hints, expecting their dates to catch on the cue and follow suit. You are wasting your breath and time ladies! Men do not log on to innuendoes as swiftly and effectively, as women would rather have them do. For men the motto is plain and simple, `Spell out loud and clear what is on your mind.’ So no use saying `that model is wearing a nice blouse’. Your boyfriend may just nod in consent and mumble an agreement. You want your date to buy you the blouse, spell it out loud and clear and say `I want a similar blouse’!
Complimenting is not men's concern alone. It is about time that women took pro-active steps in this direction and said `nice' things to the opposite sex to perk up their days. Here are a few ways that will help you say the `right' thing at the `right' time.
• Be genuinely interested in your boyfriend's pursuits and hobbies. This can include the sports he plays, the music he listens to, the literature he reads...etc. Be sincere in your emotions especially when you are trying to share interests. Pseudo lip service is totally passé, so drop it and get real.
• Laughing with him is a lot different than laughing at him. Drop the latter and share a good moment with him. Laugh at his jokes. They might not be the rib cracking ones, but so what? Share the humour that has amused him. And of course if he takes up on that chauvinistic bit, laugh at the humour in the word play instead of taking offence at his biased views.
• There is some trait in us worth admiration, so same is the case with your beau. The trick is to discover it and admire him for the same. Of course you don't have to go overboard praising the quality, that can be misread as sycophancy or he could even develop a bloated ego. Maintain an even keel here.
• There are small ways through which one displays love and affection. Be sure to appreciate these tender moments. He buys you flowers do make a mention of how you like the fragrance or their freshness. Displaying appreciation is a way of showing that you care and are aware of the efforts and emotions he has invested in you.