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tips4me.com - breaking up

BREAKING UP

MEN'S DEFINITION OF 'ATTRACTIVE'

by Juhi Dua


We give you a low down on the 5 top personality traits that catch the eyes of guys as very very sexy and attractive. Go get them!

1. Delicious confidence
Why delicious? Because just the right amount of confidence strikes men as extremely yummy. Men love women who know what they want, how they want it and when. They usually can't stand indecisive, under-confident- cry-baby, helpless type women. And the over confident, I-know-everything-under-this-sun type women are even more loathsome for them. So know your worth, stay away from insecurities and let your confidence reflect in the way you walk, talk and conduct yourself.

2. Happy-go-lucky outlook
Women who can travel business class in an airplane and in a general compartment in a crowded local train with the same comfort are the kind of women men are hugely appreciative of. They do like to pamper their girl once in a while, but the ability to adjust and the no-hang-ups attitude in a girl is something that leads a guy to make a long term commitment.

3. Sexy but subtle look
Too much skin show, plunging necklines, too many accessories and layers of makeup are only a few things that tell men that you are great for a fling but not for settling down with. On the other hand, they love women who wear tasteful clothes, dress sexy and smart but not over the top (fine line there) and wear makeup only to get a fresh look.

4. 'I am your equal' attitude
It's the age of equality and to expect a man to be chivalrous is fine but to expect him to take the load alone is not cool. Men undoubtedly respect women who understand this. They like women who offer to pay when out on a date (even though they may often turn down the offer), who are not overly materialistic and have a career and a career plan going for themselves. 'I want to be treated like a princess all the time' attitude does not fly with most men anymore.

5. Ability to take mundane decisions
Most men like a girl who can decide where to eat, what to eat, what to buy for a friend's birthday and what to pick for that corner in the house that looks empty. Why? Simply because men do no like taking the small routine decision such as these! They like to save their 'say' for the bigger issues like which TV channel to watch, what movie to go for and which whisky to order. Get the hint?
 

IS IT TIME TO SAY GOODBYE?

by Juhi Dua


Small tiffs and clashes of opinions are routine in every relationship. But when bad vibes stay for too long and when your lover who is supposed to be your support system becomes a cause of constant stress, itís time to evaluate your relationship. However, donít take a harsh or a rushed decision that you will regret later. Consider these:

1. He is hardly there for you
If indifference has creeped into your bond and if he is hardly ever there to share your sorrows or happiness, then this should ring a bell. After all love is all about sharing the ups and downs in life! So if your guy is conveniently always busy when you need him, if his friends and work always weigh over you and your needs, then he is maybe not that into you anymore. The best solution in this case is to not sit around waiting to be dumped; gather your self-respect and move on.

2. You are in an abusive relationship
A guy who abuses you verbally or physically in any way, insults you in public or forces you to get intimate with him when you are not ready, isnít worth wasting your time over.

3. He is leading you on the path of self-destruction
If you have gotten into alcohol, drugs or such destructive habits just to please him or in his company and are picking up fights with your family and friends post your involvement with him, you need to relook into this bond. Question yourself if it is this relationship that is guiding you to live on the edge. If yes, itís time to let go.

4. You donít mentally connect with him anymore
If you feel that mentally you have grown apart, move on while things are still amicable. Breaking away can become especially tough if you have mentally moved on and feel the connect missing but your guy still feels that all is ok in paradise. In such a situation, you need to get a handle on your thoughts and take a call. Just keep two things in mind: one, be gentle in making him understand your point of view and two, understand that a relationship without a mental connect will die at some point in time for sure.

5. You are unable to trust him
He cheated on you then confessed and apologised and you decided to give him another chance. But if you are constantly living under doubt and unable to develop the trust again, the relationship is really pointless. Either you forgive and work on building that trust again or get ready to end this relationship.
 

IT IS OKAY TO BREAK UP


If you are getting restless or bored in a relationship give it a little break before completely breaking up. This is just to make sure that you really want to get out of the relationship and also helps to break the news to him, as he might start wondering about these phases of staying apart. If even after the little break you arenít really dying to see him again play it straight. Explain that you are not interested any more. The sooner you do this the better. The bottom line is this. All's fair in love and war. If you see nothing in a relationship, there's no point in staying in it. You're doing both of yourselves a favor.
 
RELATIONSHIPS
BE KIND WHEN DUMPING HIM


Many of us make the mistake of getting into a relationship that, after a few months (sometimes weeks), doesnít appear to have a future. If youíre sure that this isnít the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, the quicker you get rid of him, the better. You may find him irritating or obnoxious, but donít forget that even irritating people have feelings. So be kind when dumping him.

Donít tell him things like: ďThere are other men who are much more handsome than you (even if itís true).Ē Be gentle, and avoid blaming him for the relationship not working out. Instead, make him understand that the future of this relationship doesnít look very bright, and itís better for the both of you to end it as soon as possible
 

THE END OF LOVE ISNíT HATE


We often assume that for goodbyes to be said in a relationship, both the partners have to stop loving each other. Thatís not true. The feelings for that person cannot just die out just like that. If you think they have died out, you could be just denying their existence. Remember that most partings occur NOT BECAUSE one partner stops loving the other but because one partner (or both) feels that the other is not right for him/her. The feelings still exist. Once you accept that, you two could make great friends in future --- and thank each other for not forcing each on the other.

 

OVERCOMING ILL-FATED LOVE


An estranged relation leaves a bitter aftertaste, but look at the ill-fated relation in a quirky-sort-of-way and you will only be glad that things did not lead to the altar. A few reasons why you should not mourn about an ex-boyfriend:

ē Imagine being crazy about someone who's main priorities are soccer, Swiss knife and cars in that order. You would never have any place in his life. Isn't it best that you `rediscovered' yourself?

ē Chances are quite high that you have been discussed in his close clique. Do you want to still be around with a guy who discusses you?

ē Caring could mean handling the remote with extra care or moving the mouse gently so that he does not disturb the on-line game. Definitely you would rather be with someone who understands and appreciates the word in a larger periphery.


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