Here is a low down on 5 rather common first-date dilemmas and insight on how to handle these smartly:
1. What should you wear? Wear something you are comfortable in. Wearing clothes that make you feel conscious will give out a vibe that you are trying to pretend to be what you are not. Avoid wearing exceptionally provocative clothes because you don't know how the person you are about to meet thinks. Also, dressing up too much will convey to him that you are trying too hard to impress him. Save your sexiest outfit for a later occasion.
2. Should you bare all? Well, it's fine to talk of your past affairs. But spending the whole evening analysing your failed relationships is no good. Be economical with the truth and steer the conversations to topics that provide scope to know each other better.
3. To kiss or not to kiss It is advisable to not let it happen on your first date. Let the man crave for you a little more and pamper you a little more. When you think he truly deserves it, reward him by letting him kiss you.
4. Should you ask him in? If it's not been a brilliant date, asking him in is out of question. But if he turned out to be your dream date, temptation to ask him in when he drops you is bound to be high. However, asking him in so soon might probably lead to many things too quickly. Avoid it if you are dreaming of a long-term relationship with him.
5. What if you don't like him at all? If he isn't your type at all, it's obvious for you to wait for the evening to end. If you can't take the torture, message a friend to call. Then fake an emergency and leave immediately.
We all know flirting comes naturally to the female population. But here are some things you need to make a note of in order so you don’t come across too strong.
The do's • Smile. This is the most important thing you can do when flirting as it shows you are friendly, comfortable and enjoying yourself. • Talk to the person you are flirting with about things you like and enjoy. • Make regular direct eye contact but don't force it and don't stare. • Ask questions about things. It shows you are listening and interested. • Play with your hair. It can be alluring to men when done right! • Give sincere compliments to the person you are flirting with; people love to be flattered. • Casually touch the person you are flirting with on the arm or hand. • Sit up straight with your chin up when flirting; slouching only gives a wrong impression. • If you are introduced to someone, always offer a hand shake, repeat their name, say hello clearly and ask a question to break the ice.
The don'ts • Never use typical pick up lines. • Try not to fidget when flirting. • Don't cross your arms across your chest as this comes across as defensive. • Never look down when speaking while flirting. • Do not bite your finger nails, pick at cuticles and never ever scrape dirt from under your nails.
You’re on your first date, and you’re frantically searching for things to say. Yes, it isn’t easy --- should I be natural, and say whatever I feel like? Or should I plan it all out, and go with a prepared speech? Both options have their dangers. The danger of saying whatever comes to your mind is that you may talk too much (it’s your first date, remember) or say the wrong things. On the other hand, if you go prepared with what to say, you may sound boring and unnatural. The trick therefore is to maintain a balance. Prepare yourself with some common conversation boosters (what do you study, what’s your family like, where were you born etc). But try to be natural when answering questions. That doesn’t mean you blurt out whatever comes to your mind. Stay calm, take your time, and answer.
If you feel the conversation isn’t getting anywhere, relax. It’s only your first date. If you feel you want to know more about this guy, fix up a second date by the end of the evening. Both of you will be more comfortable by then.
They may sound boring, but sometimes you may have no choice but to use them --- especially when your brain stops working, and your tongue refuses to move. Here are some easy --- but boring --- ways to get the conversation going, as you try to gather your wits: • The easiest way out is a compliment. “Your shirt is great” or “Your after-shave smells lovely” will do fine. • Another emergency option is to ask him where's he’s purchased the shirt, or the after-shave. • Ask him if he’s seen any movies, or heard any new music of late. • The bottom line is that you have to ask him something --- or rather anything! Of course, you can’t spend the whole evening talking about such non-relevant things. They’re just meant to save you temporarily.
Kissing on the first date is a major issue with most girls. While some tend to link it with morality and whether it is right or not, with others it is a sheer case of setting precedent and must they kiss the guy they barely know. But kissing on the first date is a personal choice and one must act in congruence with one's innate nature. However, do consider the following before letting the balance sway in either direction.
Honesty may be the best policy, but when its romance you’re talking about, maybe it isn’t. That doesn’t mean you have to be dishonest. What we are suggesting is that romance is all about mystery and intrigue. Once you reveal “the real you” to your partner on the first or second date, chances are that the excitement will soon run out as he won’t have much more to discover in the dates ahead. By lengthening the process of discovery, you are building a strong foundation for the relationship. And don’t forget that when some men get to know all of you, they’re not interested any longer. So if you want to ensure that the interest in the relationship is sustained, make sure that you have something new to reveal every time.